Posts Tagged ‘Self-defense in Beaverton’

I pay a lot of attention to Search Engine Optimization (SEO), checking website hits and search terms frequently. The name of this blog post was a search term that led someone to my website.  I didn’t have any tips posted for avoiding domestic violence over the holidays, so maybe it was my post on Tips For the Surviving the Holiday Table, along with a few posts on Domestic Violence, that brought the searcher here. But it really caught my attention, that someone would be searching such a thing.

The only tip I really have for avoiding domestic violence over the holidays, is don’t be around the abuser. Whoever searched this term knows that they will be abused. They know who their abuser is. It is probably her husband or boyfriend and he probably has a track record of this behavior.  He probably gets drunk, and starts beating her. It’s probably something really stupid and insignificant that sets him off, like burned potatoes. Them WHAM! “That’ll teach you to burn potatoes you bitch!”

The next morning he’ll be all sorry and promise never to do it again, and she will believe him, again, because it’s easier than doing what she probably knows in her heart she must do: leave.

I teach Krav Maga as self-defense for both men and women, but it’s not really for the situation you find yourself in every Friday night. The only solution for that is to not be there. I realize it is easy for me blog this from the comfort of my office chair, and hard for the woman who must leave her significant other, with her kids, and possibly her only means of support, to avoid being used like a punching bag. But that is what she must do, and the sooner the better, because things really aren’t going to get better until she leaves, or he kills her. Krav Maga may save you a few times, but sooner or later it won’t.  Whoever you are, I wish you the best, and I hope someday very soon you come to your senses and leave him.

Advertisements

Bullycide again! According to foxnews.com a 10-Year-Old North Carolina Girl Hangs Herself After Allegedly Being Bullied at School. I for one am sick of reading these stories. It makes me heartsick and sick to my stomach. As a simpleminded martial Arts teacher, I’d like to think that if every boy and girl would learn martial arts these situations could be avoided. Of course it’s more complex than that. There are so many factors. It is important for the child to be able to communicate with their parents; to able to tell them anything. If not, the parent will be surprised when something like this happens. Often the school staff can’t or won’t do anything or are unaware. It also amazes me that a 10-year old could have the wherewithal and determination to kill themselves. RIP, Jasmine McClain.

Last night I hosted a Free Women’s Self-Defense Seminar & Girls’ Night Out at my facility.  I tried very hard to promote it through Facebook, Twitter & Linked In, as well as through a Flyer and my BNI Chapter. Although there was a lot of grass roots promotion, and my BNI partners invited lots of guests, very few members of the general public attended that were not related to BNI. The only conclusion I can draw from this, is that most Women are not really concerned with Self-Defense. Perhaps it is too inconvenient, or unpleasant to think about. Perhaps most women feel safe. I try to promote women’s self-defense in a positive way, without scare tactics. Perhaps in the future I should resort to scare tactics? Here goes:

According to United States Department of Justice document Criminal Victimization in the United States, there were overall 191,670 victims of rape or sexual assault reported in 2005.  1 of 6 U.S. women has experienced an attempted or completed rape. (according to Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault) [from Wikipedia]

From 2000–2005, 59% of rapes were not reported to law enforcement.[30][31] One factor relating to this is misconception that most rapes are committed by strangers.[32] In reality, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, 38% of victims were raped by a friend or acquaintance, 28% by “an intimate” and 7% by another relative, and 26% were committed by a stranger to the victim. About four out of ten sexual assaults take place at the victim’s own home. [from Wikipedia]

Drug use, especially alcohol, is frequently involved in rape. In 47% of rapes, both the victim and the perpetrator had been drinking. In 17%, only the perpetrator had been. 7% of the time, only the victim had been drinking. Rapes where neither the victim nor the perpetrator had been drinking were 29% of all rapes. [from Wikipedia]

In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner.1 That’s an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner. [from NOW]

According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.4 [from NOW]

According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, which includes crimes that were not reported to the police, 232,960 women in the U.S. were raped or sexually assaulted in 2006. That’s more than 600 women every day.6 [from NOW]

Women ages 20-24 are at greatest risk of nonfatal domestic violence8, and women age 24 and under suffer from the highest rates of rape.9 The Justice Department estimates that one in five women will experience rape or attempted rape during their college years, and that less than five percent of these rapes will be reported.10   [from NOW]

So, can I interest anyone in a Women’s Self-Defense Seminar?

Please see this link to my event on Facebook.  This event is open to the public and is free.  I am doing this event to raise awareness for violence against women, to give something back to the community, and of course to promote my business in a positive way.  I added the “Girl’s Night Out” part to make it fun for attendees, and to raise awareness for and hopefully create a little business for my partners who are helping me. There will be wine & cheese and hors d’oeuvre, massages, and a jewelry, purse & candle show.  The Self-Defense will last 45 minutes and be all business. The Girl’s Night Out is scheduled to go until 9pm, leave when you want or stay all night. There will be a chance to do a little early Christmas shopping, as all of the show items are for sale.  For address & directions, click here.

Recent “Bullycides” are spurring lawmakers to write laws to prevent these tragedies from happening. As with all such well-meaning legislation, I wonder if it will be effective, or instead have adverse effects.  The web definition of  Bullycide is, “A suicide caused as the result of depression from bullying, especially children.”  Most of the stories I have read about involve teens and pre-teens, so ages ten to 18.  A percentage of these kids are gay, but certainly not all. Some of the cases I have read about go well beyond bullying into outright assault.  That’s why I wonder about new laws, there are already laws on the books against assault. Of course if these new laws really work to prevent bullying, then I am all for them. I’ll guess we’ll have to pass them to see what’s in them, and if they work.

So what’s the answer? Well it’s a complicated issue, so there is no easy answer.  As a martial arts instructor, I am of course biased in my opinion, but do believe self-defense training works. I was bullied as a kid, and I didn’t want my boys to go through that, so I started them both in Karate at age 4.  I posted yesterday about how my son got out of headlock in school.  At first I was a little disappointed that my son didn’t use more force in countering the move, but upon reflection, I think he used the appropriate amount, i.e. just enough, to end the conflict and walk away. I am proud because I taught this Krav Maga move to him only a few weeks ago.  When the other kid threw the headlock, my son thought, “Oh perfect, I know how to get out of this,” then he did. Hopefully this ends it, time will tell.

Well now that I pointed out the books that will get you killed, here are the ones that WON’T.  Keep in mind that there is no guarantee, and the best defense is always the NIKE defense: RUN!  This book, Complete Krav Maga: The Ultimate Guide to Over 230 Self-Defense and Combative Techniques  by Darren Levine is good if you are looking for an illustrated guide to techniques. I own this book and refer to it often.  It is hard to learn techniques solely from a book,  but it is not impossible. Of course you need a partner to drill these with.

Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence, written by Sgt. Rory Miller, a corrections officer from the Portland , Oregon area is not a technique based book, but gives some philosophy and a wake up call to people who have been taking traditional martial arts and have been doing things like point sparring and non-contact drills, to let them know that what they have been practicing is probably worse than useless, because in addition to getting you killed, it give you a false sense of security.

Strong on Defense by Sandford Strong a retired San Diego cop, details what actually happened in violent encounters, and points what victims did right and wrong. This book looks into the psychological aspects of preparation and more importantly,  avoidance.

The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker, a renowned security consultant, urges women to trust their sixth sense,  because when it comes to danger, it is usually right. That uneasy feeling you have is telling you something, so listen to it.

So now that I have given you my recommended Self-Defense reading list, I’m thinking I need to re-read all these books!

  • Learn Women’s Self-Defense Techniques
  • Massages, Jewelry, Purse & Handbag Show
  • Wine & Cheese, hors d’oeuvre
  • November 5, 2011, 6-9 PM
  • RSVP requested to info@osdnf.com

Click here to view & print a flyer

Held at:

Oregon Self-Defense & Fitness
Tigard Plaza
11945 SW Pacific Hwy
Suite 230
Tigard, OR 97223
 
Phone: 503-968-6400
Email: info@osdnf.com
http://www.osdnf.com

This slideshow requires JavaScript.